The Pivot
To pivot, according to dictionary.com, means “to modify (a policy, opinion, product, etc.) while retaining some continuity with its previous version.” I’ve been ready to pivot for some time, to write about topics other than reproductive rights, even though I sometimes feel like it’s the only truly worthy topic. Nevertheless, here I am, pivoting!
If you know me personally or just read my intermittent newsletter, you know that I joined the Great Resignation and left Cal Poly in 2021 at 50 years old. This mid-life reckoning has been an interesting time, occasionally fraught with existential angst, other times with celestial bliss. I read so many books during this time; I learned to ride a motorcycle and then bought one and eventually sold it; I enrolled in art classes; I met with a life coach, who I thought would help me revamp my resume and change careers but instead gave me tools for integrating my head, heart, and gut; I participated in a clinical trial for psilocybin, which cured my atheism and fear of death and healed some childhood wounds; I started and sustained a daily yoga practice; I mothered two beautiful, always-hungry teenage sons; I addressed some self-limiting habits, behaviors and attitudes; and I stopped feeling shame or regret about my past. I was forgiven and forgave.
My desire to shift away from writing only about female reproductive rights has caused me some handwringing. Maybe I am afraid people might think I’ve said all I have to say about abortion and abortion rights or that I don’t care about the subject anymore. No way. It’s one of the most important, in my mind, fundamental issues of our time, a clear indicator of how women will be treated and valued in our society. And if there’s one thing that pisses me off, it’s injustice toward women and girls, meted out primarily by men. Our bodies are still battlegrounds.
But as I’ve said in a past letter, there are many people writing about abortion rights (including here on Substack) who are keeping up with the attacks and the resistance. Still, I want you to know that with this pivot, I’m not turning away. In fact, in 2023, I received a fellowship from USC’s Center for Health Journalism to do a series of three audio stories for KCBX, our local public radio station and NPR affiliate, about domestic violence in our county. For several months I interviewed women in our county who have either survived intimate partner violence or who work to help survivors—or both. The last interview I conducted was with an undocumented woman, Lulu (her pseudonym ), a resident of San Luis Obispo who emigrated here from Mexico two decades ago. We spoke for four hours in Spanish, and her story is one I will never forget. One of the most difficult jobs I’ve ever had was distilling that hours-long interview into a meaningful 5-minute story for radio. Lulu’s harrowing tale made me understand why domestic survivors are referred to as such. The three-part series “Behind Closed Doors” can be heard here.
It has been a busy year! I finally published Murray: A Novel, a work of historical fiction I worked on for more than 15 years; the finished manuscript spent three forlorn post-Covid years sitting on a shelf before I rescued it from the dustbin of history.
I have another novel—contemporary fiction (well, 1990s to early 2000s)—that’s 99 percent finished called Garden of Eves that I’ll publish soon. And I’m working on a non-fiction book, a kind of memoir about my mid-life crisis, Let The Dog Sing: A Human Quest for Transcendence at the Middle of Life. Still working on the subtitle :)
I’m in the process of building a personal website, a home for my books and audio work. I’ll be moving my newsletter there eventually, but for now, I’ll continue to occasionally post on Substack. Hopefully more than occasionally, as there are so many things I am eager to write about and share. That said, if you’re like, Hey, I signed up for a newsletter about abortion rights, not whatever this newsletter’s becoming! and you decide to bow out, I understand. No hard feelings, I promise. However, if you want to stay along for the ride and see where this journey leads, lovely!
So here’s the pivot. I considered changing the name of my newsletter, but after looking up quickening to understand it in a broader context (besides pregnancy) it still feels right—for now.
I was one of the slowest runners on my high school cross-country team and used to cheer runners on as they passed me, which happened frequently. Doing great! Keep it up! Looking good! I’d yell as runners overtook me, even members of the opposing teams. At our end-of-season banquet, I was given an award for “Most Inspirational.” I cherished that accolade. I didn’t care too much about winning; I just wanted to cheer people on.
So while I can’t promise the newsletter will be electrifying, thrilling, hair-raising, and spine-tingling, I’ll try to at least make it inspirational and invigorating. After all, I’m rooting for YOU.
Hope you’re taking care. Thanks for being here.
Love this! The Age of the Pivot. Staying right here.